My friend Minda asked a thoughtful question in response to this post. I assumed that the original post would be met with more discussion than it was. Apparently, most readers took it as a “duh-ism,” which is a great thing. I thought it would be useful to post the discussion that followed Minda’s question, however, as it moves us beyond theory to actual practice. Feel free to chime in. Here it is:
Minda: Thanks, Pastor Chris, for this article. I find it rather sad that such articles even need to be written. I was wondering how you answer people who say that while such a marriage is not prohibited by the Bible, it is still not best because it would likely limit one’s ministry in many churches and it would hurt the children. That’s a comment I’ve often heard. What do you say to it?
Me: Hi, Minda.
I think there’s some warrant to the idea that people need to think about all of the ramifications of any marriage, really. In fact, a good friend whose parents are of different ethnicities [Greg Linscott] suggested that I mention the need for couples to think about all that such a marriage entails. However, I didn’t essentially because sometimes that legitimate advice can be used as a loophole to perpetuate the old idea that condemns such unions, and may even be a cover for racism: “Well, it may not be wrong, but it’s certainly not wise.” I have no time for that, but I do think it’s true that the couple should be prepared for whatever might come. Honestly, though, it’s a generational thing. The “think of the children” angle doesn’t play anymore; most people don’t care, or even think about it.
One more thing: I did get a note from a rather offended older man that said essentially “That’s sounds nice in theory, but what would you do if your daughters brought home a _____ man?” (His omitting the word evidently proves that he’s not racist. Nice.) I blew it off, but I was tempted to say, “I don’t understand what you mean. A short man? A chubby man?” :)
Truth is, as much as I know my heart, if they bring home a genuinely godly man who will cherish them and lead them in their pursuit of Christ, his appearance and background won’t matter a bit.
Here’s my response:
Weighing possible negative repercussions is for the couple to consider.
Our business is to make darned sure we aren’t part of any such repercussions, and to stomp any that arise like the pestilent cockroaches they are.