There are mean people in evangelicalism. Really mean. I can’t name them, but they’re mean.
There are evangelical leaders who make more money than the people who serve under their leadership. Seriously. Sometimes quite a bit more. Pastors make more than secretaries, for example, which not only reveals greed, but is an egalitarian’s worst nightmare. (Unless, of course, the pastor is a woman and the secretary a man, which is the ideal, but I digress.)
There are books and movies about evangelicals who are freaks. No kidding. There’s a preacher in H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds who’s just nuts. NUTS! And cowardly, too. And the father in Footloose? Not nice at all. (Though he may be a fundamentalist, now that I think about it…from what I’ve read, of course.) And what about Hollywood movies about televangelists and the like? They’re powerful. And the priest guy from The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Makes me shudder just to think about him!
But that’s not all…
There are evangelical churches and schools and day cares that have rules. I’m serious. While they might not be “high control groups,” they are certainly “mid-to-average elevation control groups,” which, however you look at it, is too much control, and is potentially hurtful.
I read about an evangelical who shot somebody once. I’m not making this up. Shot him dead, right in cold blood, just like they shoot ‘em dead in the movies. One of ‘em robbed someone too. Robbed him blind. Trust me. Some evangelicals (though I’m not saying who) are just dirty rotten scoundrels.
And unity? Mercy. There was once an evangelical church that split right down the middle. Right down the middle! Now, I’m not thinking of any particular church that split right down the middle, but it’s happened, both in books and in real life. And it just hurts me to consider it. Hurts like I’ve been bit by a dog—a rabid, red-shirted, polygamist dog.
And that’s why I’m a fundamentalist, and that’s why you should be a fundamentalist too.
_________
Disclaimer: My intent is not to be unkind. I’m not wanting to beat up Joe Zichterman. However, sometimes ridiculous ideas need to be exposed as, well, ridiculous. Joe has criticized fundamentalism in an inaccurate and mean-spirited way. He has done so very publicly, sending an email to thousands of people who have been influenced by his ministry. And he’s inviting those he has influenced in the past to join him in his error. So while I feel bad for a friend’s poor decision, I’m motivated to demonstrate the folly of his ideas in order to minimize his influence. Lest Joe’s lecture be taken too seriously, I posted this to demonstrate (a) that the type of presentation Joe put together is not hard to produce, and (b) that the arguments he makes, even if containing some truth, are worthless. His accusations aren’t funny, but they are ridiculous.
Filed under: Contemporary Issues, Fundamentalism, Parody Pages
[...] Why I’m a Fundamentalist [...]
Chris,
I am seriously considering becoming a fundamentalist now that you have laid out such a clear argument. So many people have polgyamist dogs and the leadership simply does not want to admit it. Not only that, they are almost all to a man (not “to a woman”) American. I’m turning in my passport.
Bob
Seriously, this parody is very helpful. Sometimes turning a thing on its head shows how ridiculous it is.
And this type of reply is why I now REJECT your argument. I am totally disgusted with the way christians fight IN A PUBLIC ARENA. This kind of public bickering is unseemly, and proves many of the accusations that are held against fundamentalists.
Yes, THAT Andersen.
But Robert, you seem like the perfect candidate to be a humorless fundamentalist.
Chris,
Your first post was better.
Excellent.
This was great.
Dave, you have no idea who I am or what I believe. But it is suprising to me that you would think that making light of what SEEMS to be a very serious matter is ok. Joe’s ‘departure’ IS a serious matter, isn’t it?
Thanks, Chris, for continuing to expose those who not only hold to faulty (sinful) teachings, but are actively trying to recruit others to join them. I disagree with some who say we should not take this public. Joe has already taken it public and is purposely trying to sway others to follow him down his sinful path. Galatians 2 speaks of certain brother (Peter) who had decided to violate Scripture, and was taking other brothers (Barnabas) with him. Paul withstood him to the face, before them all (publicly), because his sin was public. I find no fault with Paul, and I appreciate you following his Biblical example.
I also appreciate both articles and their different styles. Foolish arguments need to be shown foolish.
Brent
Robert,
It is indeed a serious matter, but that in no way bars one from using humor to make a point about it. While Chris’s effort here is not inspired, it doesn’t take long reading the OT to see that this same type of mocking is done by the prophets. It’s unwise to be more spiritual than the Bible itself.
“I am totally disgusted with the way christians fight IN A PUBLIC ARENA. This kind of public bickering is unseemly, and proves many of the accusations that are held against fundamentalists.”
Robert, Tsk, tsk. Aren’t you doing the exact same thing? In a public arena no less?
Actually, I thought twice about posting this. I don’t want to be sarcastic when being gracious is in order. I sought advice from several friends before posting.
Now, try to think about the situation objectively, removing names, songs, institutions, etc. A young prof spends 10 years teaching thousands of students. His departure is troubling, but little is said about it. Two years later he sends out an email “to thousands of you who have been involved in our ministries in one form or another these past few years.” He’s celebrating his change, advertising his ministry and trying to persuade others to join him in his grievous error. Because of the way he promoted himself and his new errors, he needs to be exposed, not wooed back.
Of course I’d love for Joe to turn from his current course of action. But at this point, warning sheep has to trump petting and pitying the wolf. Showing that his emotion-packed arguments are silly is part of that warning.
Chris:
I am glad you are laying this out. I enjoyed the tongue in cheek, but the disclaimer is very important.
On p. 9 of thread at SI I noted my concern about how some who were under his influence, prior to his departure, may be lead to follow him to the WCC type of ministries.
”From what I have read in the first few pages of this thread it appears Joe was fairly high profile and quite influential with young people. Joe’s transition could very well become a catalyst or bridge for others to follow him over to the Willow Creek mentality/ministry. For the sake of those who Joe had an influence with, and while keeping the spirit of Colossians 4:6 in mind, it needs to be made loud and clear that hooking up with the Willow Creek outfit is wrong and especially why it is wrong.”
Then from your post, I see Joe e-mailed thousands and appears to have encouraged those in his (former) sphere of influence to join him.
On p. 19 of the SI thread a NBBC student (Anthonydi) echoed his concern over some of his student peers who are open-minded about Joe’s new home. He wrote, “I know that my opinion as a twenty year old matters little, but there are those here that respect Dr. Z for what he is doing. Frankly this scares me.”
I thought that was one of the most significant and disconcerting statements in the thread.
In my opinion, it will be among the young people, Joe had an influence over, where the potential is for the most damage to be done from his joining the WCC outfit/movement.
LM
Chris, what another really great post! Point made.
While you know my current affiliation (for others who may be reading this, my wife and I attend a conservative/fundamentally sound LCMS church…gasp!), this post made me think “almost thou persuadest me to be a ‘fundamentalist.’” :) While I may not place myself squarely in the “fundamentalist movement” camp, I would NEVER condone the perversion of the Gospel with the kind of stuff I read from the Willow Church folks, emerging church, or whatever it is called. May God judge the errors of those who would compromise the Gospel of our Lord and Savior.
Robert, I don’t claim the title of “fundamentalist”, I don’t post on SI (I feel I would be violating the rule that says one must be a self-identified fundamentalist), but when error is seen in the light of the Truth, it MUST be exposed. Chris is right to do this: he is a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, our Lord. May God bless him. I still value the fundamentals of the faith just as he does, the central of which is grace through faith through Christ alone: the power of the Gospel unto salvation for a lost world. Adiaphora issues, there is no compromise when it comes to the Cross.
I am convinced that every human being I meet, I will attempt, God willing, to present the Gospel message hopefully to their salvation (may God be merciful to me, a sinner). I may be a Lutheran christian, but my Gospel is the same message Chris preaches every Sunday, and may he preach it with power and authority. When the Gospel is compromised, we need to stand firm against those who would do it harm by their approach and methodology. I do not know anything about this guy, but I know if he is perverting or watering down the Gospel, we all need to stand together for its defense for the sake of the souls which God has entrusted to us, whether in our witness or in our pastorate. God bless you, Chris, and others like Dr Bixby and the other pastors who speak the Truth in the defense of the Gospel.
This really was a humerous post. Satirically so.
The last sentence is referencing Chris’s post, not my response. Sorry for the confusion.
Chris/All:
I am wondering outloud here…
Did some in positions of leadership over and/or fellowship with Dr. Z have some inkling or even strong sense that this shift was possible and may be on the horizon?
If this was the case, and those in the know remained silent while Joe continued a facade ministry in IFB circles, I would be quite frustrated with that.
LM
Excellent!