A while back, Bob Bixby shared the trial of living with two American girls that love American Girls. As the father of four girls and the husband of one, I felt his pain. Learning that I was not alone in this hardship was both encouraging and motivating. In the spirit of MADD and SADD, I would like to announce the formation of the support group FADD: Fathers Around Daughters with Dolls. At this time, I am pleased to serve as the CEO, CFO and President.
One of the goals of FADD will be to publish warnings, somewhat like a “Neighborhood Watch” program. Dads, if you get blindsided by an American Girl pitch, let the rest of us know about it. It might be too late for you, but you can save others.
I have such a warning this morning. Returning from a short jog this morning, I decided to check the mailbox. Sure enough, the mail hadn’t been retrieved yesterday. There it was: the new “Imagine” catalogue/magazine/propaganda published by AG. YES!! My plan was to sneak it into the house, throw it in the trash, cover it with coffee grounds and be spared a significant amount of money.
Alas, Rebekah (my eldest) foiled my plan. She met me at the door, ripped it from my hand and let out an audible squeal. No, I’m not joking.
It’s too late for me, men. But save yourselves. Check your mail on the way to the office. Get it before “they” do. We’re in this together.
Filed under: Snickers
Thanks for the laugh this morning. Todd & I have it easy — our two girls don’t care for dolls or the color pink. So far, no interest in AG so hopefully their propaganda won’t find our mailbox anytime soon.
Hi, Donna. I got a smile just thinking of your girls. They manage to balance “tough” and “cute” well. No need for a FADD chapter in Columbus, I guess. :)
Chris;
Let me warn you, incase you aren’t already aware, AG has a doll hospital. Yes, we recently had to return a ‘patient’ due to ligament damage in her leg. While I know $20. isn’t much for a hospital visit, not even a bad co-pay, I still struggled — especially when you add shipping!
But I was pleased that Kirsten came back in fine shape, with hair combed (that was at least a $10 task), wearing a hosptial gown (had the same air conditioning problem in the back that the real gowns have), with a hospital wrist band and ‘ger well’ balloon! On top of that she had been cleaned.
Come to think of it, maybe we don’t have to worry after all. It sure is cheaper than a new doll.
If only I could get my ankle surgery for $20. No, I’m not looking for offers!
Ken
Hey, Ken! Your post regarding your…um…injured American Girl reminds me of the discussion at Bob’s. I posted the following:
Now I find out that I can send the doll in for eye surgery?
Nah.
(BTW, which American Girl do you have? I mean…er…your daughter…Which does your daughter have? Oh, brother. Forget that I asked that. I’m so ashamed.)
Sign me up for all notices. Also, send the schedule for any local FADD support groups that might be meeting in the region.
“Hello. My name is Bob. I just bought Kirsten.”
Funny, funny, funny.
Chis,
My daughter has Kirsten (good buy Bob!), Bitty Baby, and a ton of Bitty Baby stuff. We did go by the AG store in NYC, but it was shortly after Christmas and the line stretched to somewhere in CT so we missed getting highly teed off.
For fellow FADD members I recommend signing the grandparents up for AG catalogs — great present idea$ and help$ on the overall expenditure! I would also recommend the hospital after I read on Bob’s blog that the hair care is $15 bucks. Might be worth ripping the eyelashes off again, Chris — get the hair done and keep the ‘evil boy’ image in place.
It’s all about Grandma, men. Cha-ching.
For that recommendation, Ken, I do hereby appoint you the Sergeant at Arms of FADD. (Hey, you have to start somewhere.)
We have Samantha, Nellie, two Bitty Babies (one on injured reserve) and Coconut (the dog). We also have a number of extra outfits and accessories.
(P$$$T…Here’$ another FADD tip, fella$: our four-year old i$ $till enjoying a bogu$ AG look-alike from K-Mart. $he doesn’t $u$pect a thing.)
Wow! Sargeant at Arms of FADD — that will look good on a resume. (Maybe I should point it out in my next parenting class, or is that tacky?)
“I’d like to thank my wife and daughter, and of course my mother-in-law. Without them I wouldn’t even have posted on this discussion.”
One other tip — even if they are too old to be fooled by those cheap look-likes you may be able to direct the attention elsewhere. I did find the “build-a-bear” workshop helpful, and less costly. Of course, once infected with Americian Girl Syndrome (AGS) their will continue to be lingering symptoms and consequences.
I’ll join, but not with protest. I’m content to spend the money with my 7 and 4 year old at AG, knowing full well that in a few years I’ll long for the innocence of youth as I struggle with boys, college, and, eventually courtship and marriage. Then I will be the sad older gentleman walking by the store, sighing and smiling with the memories of the joy on my daughters’ faces as they sat at lunch with their dolls so many years ago.
I’m joining your club, but perhaps I might be better served by starting an affiliate organization — FADD(B). “B”, of course, referring to Barbie. We’re not into the American Girls stage quite yet, but it’s coming.
Pat,
Way to take the fun out of our whining. I nominate you for FADD chaplain.
Bob
I second Bob’s nomination. Just what I needed today, guilt!
Overruled. (Did I mention that the CEO/CFO/President has absolute veto power?)
The last thing I need to be reminded of is the future trauma I face with four girls. We need a chaplain that will predict the rapture in the next decade, not spread the guilt. Anyway, Pat, we’re glad to have you as a member, friend, but please leave us alone to ingore the inevitable.
“Denial.”
________
Eric, sorry, but there is no franchising of FADD. Besides, for every Barbie, there’s a Ken. Uh-uh. Sorry, buddy. Overruled. And welcome.
Sorry…I didn’t mean to be a stick in the mud. I actually enjoy lamenting about the cost of the dolls and accessories. And I find comfort in knowing that there are other level headed fathers who have “suffered” the same fate.
Perhaps FADD can morph into Fathers Around Dating Daughters. Then I can turn in my collar for the CEO position. :-)
Pat
Pay, you are KILLING me. First you throw out the “M” word, and now the “D” word, which is even worse. Hopefully, the current definition of FADD will fit my doll-loving daughters well into their 40’s.
“Dating,” he says. Sheesh!
:-)
FOUR DAUGHTERS! GULP!!! Well, if they are going to grow up and marry preacher boys at least you won’t have to pay for college. (Tongue planted firmly in cheek…don’t send me any hate mail).
Let’s get this back on track…my daughter, whom I recently forced to relocate to Rockford, IL, now wants to have an AG birthday party. The bad news…it’s incredibly expensive. The good news…her cousins are all back in Michigan so they won’t show up. I just want to make sure she doesn’t make too many new friends at church before her birthday.
Too late, Pat. Our daughters are friends and I have already told her that you are the only people in the entire world allowed to have AG parties. (We would do it, but you took our spot). She’s looking forward to coming year after year…
I think she’s already invited your daughter. Fortunately she can’t write or e-mail, or it might end up as a general invitation on the church website. :-O
Let’s hope that your daughter forgets about your excuse for not having an AG party when we get to the ninth commandment.
I should have signed my last comment
The CHAPLAIN
On second thought, I don’t mind broadening our base in time, as long as our acrostic stands for Fathers Against Dating Daughters. Has a nice ring to it, eh?
Eric, you only think you’re not to the AG phase yet. Think “Bitty Baby.”
Cha-ching!
Pat, does having an AG b-day party mean buying a doll for every girl attending? Or even an outfit?
Cha-ching!
Sign me up Chris. I’ll jump on the Josh Harris bandwagon once my girls hit adolescence.
As for the party…that’s a good question. If the attendees have an AG doll, an outfit (the discounted one that they use to lure you into the store with) might not be out of the question. But what if an invitee doesn’t have an AG doll? I think an AG book would be a good compromise there. I haven’t really thought through it yet. In the mean time, I’m going to start saving my pop cans in Illinois and take them back to Michigan on my next trip to fund the party.
>> “Fortunately she can’t write or e-mail, or it might end up as a general invitation on the church website :-O” oh…that could be arranged. =}
my parents absentmindedly ‘misplaced’ my Jenny doll, which was really the only one i actually loved. i think i may’ve crossed their threshold of endurance when i used all the christmas wrapping paper and tape to wrap some twenty “presents” (otherwise empty boxes) so that my dolls and stuffed animals wouldn’t feel left out at christmastime.
chris, say hi to your lovely wife for me.
Pat, try as we might, we still can't get on the same page:
You're thinking courtship. I'm thinking forever single.
Joy, I told her, and she smiled and said “Hi, back!” You’re right. She is lovely…inside and out. I’m blessed far beyond what I deserve.
Let me go on record: Lori is my favorite American girl! :-D
Joy,
I’m not sure if that was an offer or a threat. :-)
Chris,
You’re a true visionary. I vote for you for CEO.
Pat
Lori is MY favorite American Girl! I married her…no kids yet…!
And NOW, as you can see by this thread, why my wife LORI and I have ZERO KIDS (yet)!
[...] (FADD Alert: That’$ 3 AGD’$ in one hou$ehold. Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!) [...]