Buses and Bullets and Blogs: Oh My!

I’m new to the blogosphere, at least to this side of it.  Before I make any more posts, I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies for the violence that my words have or could have promoted.  I awoke this morning fearing that my name would (justly) appear in the New York Times as an example of a funda-terrorist.  I’d like to make several clarifications to all who have read so far, especially investigative reporters looking for a scoop.

First, I feel that I must address a line from the article which I posted yesterday.  Commenting about my relationship with Jason Janz, I wrote the following:

“I’m probably the least likely guy to defend Jason Janz: we’ve thrown each other under the bus on a couple of occasions.”

Let the record show that I have never literally thrown Jason or anyone else under a bus and that Jason has never literally thrown me under a bus.  Furthermore, I have no intention of throwing anyone under a bus in the future, nor am I wanting to incite such behavior among those who read the article.

Second, and probably worse, I used this reckless comment to describe the response of many Christians to Jason’s article:

“The phrase ‘shooting the messenger’ comes to mind.”

I am deeply embarrassed that such vitriolic words could proceed from my mind and fingertips.  Please allow me to appeal to those who understood me to be calling for such acts of violence: “Stop!  Don’t do it!”  I just hope I’m not to late.  Let the record show that I am not suggesting that anyone literally “shoot the messenger,” though I can certainly understand how such language could have sent that message–and probably did.

In yet another careless espousal of violence, I cautioned posters about making “inflammatory” comments.  Let the record show that I did not have literal flames in mind, nor was I giving a coded “signal” for readers to start fires.

I apologize–not just to my readers, but to all the world– for my lack of sensitivity.  As a demonstration of my desire to change into a kinder, gentler blogger, I would like to recommend to fellow-posters of the fundamental persuasion that we adopt the following sensitivity guidelines:

* Please refer to “the culture war” as the culture dialogue, for obvious reasons.

* Please avoid such comments as “fire away” or “take your best shot” when inviting your readers to respond.  I ask you: how will you live with yourself if they act on your suggestion?!

* I appeal to those of you whose websites have names that include words like “sharper” or “pyro” to forsake the names of violence and opt for words like flower or bunny.  If you’d like my advice, I think “gentleriron” has a soothing sound to it, though “softeriron” would keep the initials-thing going.

* Finally, and most importantly, I call on you to boycott the use of “bullets” (hereafter referred to as “b******”) when you are typing lists.  Forsake “b******” and use numbers or asterisks (as you notice I have done here).  Honestly, why continue to use a typographical symbol that stokes your readers’ violent tendencies?!  If, however, you must continue using “b******”, I suggest calling them “dots” or, better yet, “bubbles.”

Again, I’m sorry.  We probably all could use blog-sensitivity-training classes.  However, I truly believe that if we all just change our manner of speaking and typing, the world will be a safer, happier and more peaceful place.

Thank you.

Chris

p.s.  Now think *happy thoughts* friends!

p.s.s  Always remember that I LOVE YOU! :-)